So you are born a girl, you spend most of your childhood being told you are a princess and being sold the story that one day prince charming will show up and sweep you off your feet (or not)!
Years go by and finally voila! Prince charming shows up, not exactly the way they wrote it in the books, you didn't spend your life in the beautiful forests picking apples and singing with the birds but here we are any way. You probably had to kiss a few ugly frogs too!. He pops the all important question to your surprise (not really, cos its been a long time coming) you get all excited and its a yes!
Oh oh hold on a minute! There seems to be a problem here. Your betrothed is across the Atlantic in a whole different continent! Hmm questions start flying in the air where you can literally see them (no jokes you do see words in the air)... when did I meet him? how did we get here? e.t.c.
While basking in the euphoria of the whole relationship leading to the proposal, you had not really thought it through, you somehow knew a day such as this was coming, you may have even discussed it and you know one of you would have to move, you even know there was a greater possibility it would be you. But still you didn't think it through and you did not take it as serious as you should have.
Now you are sitting here excited and scared all at once. My career! my job! my family! my friends! Basically MY LIFE!! what's going to happen now!!! Yes its the beginning of the end of your life as you know it. You may loose a few friends, go back a few steps in your career, loose your present job, the list goes on. But thankfully you will never loose your family even if they are far away. Better still, you start your own family, you have a new best friend to share your new life with, there will be new opportunities open to you when you move (you hope).
Anyway, if you are like me, you are thinking "this will be a walk in the park, I've spent the last six years or so moving about, whether it be cities or countries and even continents. I'm used to it". But the difference is, all those times you had a base, even when I was gone for two years I still came back to my home. Now my base will change and I will not be a master of myself whether I admit it or not. I can no longer pack my bags when I wish and go where I will. I now have a significant other to consider. It's actually a good feeling much to my surprise.
So how did we make this transatlantic relationship happen?
Technology! It was all technology, technology is the reason my life is changing, its the reason all our lives are changing, whether it be jobs, new friends we may never have had a chance to meet, our businesses are better because of it. It is a wonderful thing and I love it.
Technology! It was all technology, technology is the reason my life is changing, its the reason all our lives are changing, whether it be jobs, new friends we may never have had a chance to meet, our businesses are better because of it. It is a wonderful thing and I love it.
Here are a few of the technologies we used when we were courting.
Facebook, I had known about his family but I had never met him personally (last time I saw him I was probably ten), I got a poke on Facebook from him four years ago, I saw we had my siblings as mutual friends and started to question him as to how he knew me. We became friends and eventually exchanged numbers, the rest is history. Everybody and most businesses are on Facebook now, its easy to join if you are over the age limit which is presently 13. You only need a valid email address. My advise as far as Facebook and relationship is don't add anybody you do not already know as your friend. There are many bad people out there these days.
Video calls: Skype and Googletalk are the two I use most, if anyone knows of others feel free to let share. I strongly believe this helped our relationship grow stronger. It makes a lot of difference, you get to see your loved one's facial expressions and reactions to your conversation. Most smartpones allow video calls these days so you can take your significant other everywhere you go.
Instant Messengers (IMs) like yahoo, MSN, googletalk and WhatsApp. We had endless conversations on these. I've never conversed with anyone in my life the way I have with this young man, we conversed every second of the day it seemed. From when I woke up to when I went to bed, we did report what each other was doing using IMs
Facebook, I had known about his family but I had never met him personally (last time I saw him I was probably ten), I got a poke on Facebook from him four years ago, I saw we had my siblings as mutual friends and started to question him as to how he knew me. We became friends and eventually exchanged numbers, the rest is history. Everybody and most businesses are on Facebook now, its easy to join if you are over the age limit which is presently 13. You only need a valid email address. My advise as far as Facebook and relationship is don't add anybody you do not already know as your friend. There are many bad people out there these days.
Video calls: Skype and Googletalk are the two I use most, if anyone knows of others feel free to let share. I strongly believe this helped our relationship grow stronger. It makes a lot of difference, you get to see your loved one's facial expressions and reactions to your conversation. Most smartpones allow video calls these days so you can take your significant other everywhere you go.
Instant Messengers (IMs) like yahoo, MSN, googletalk and WhatsApp. We had endless conversations on these. I've never conversed with anyone in my life the way I have with this young man, we conversed every second of the day it seemed. From when I woke up to when I went to bed, we did report what each other was doing using IMs
Anyway, we plan the wedding and get married. We were to go back to our respective countries after the wedding pending when we finalize our moving plans. I thought it was ok, we would just go back to the way we were thank God for technology. We only had ten days together after the wedding and off he went back to his life.
Now the hard part begins, people its not the same when you are in a relationship as when you are in a marriage. It was harder even with all the technology. Now there was even viber, and voip, I could make free calls all day long if I wanted to, but it wasn't the same. I wanted to be with my significant other, I lost concentration at work, and I was consumed with movement plans. I still worried about my career.
I had planned to stay back a year to help get our finances together after that big wedding spend. I only lasted four months before I packed my bags and didn't care about anything but going home to where I belonged (wow I said home!). I guess this is my new life now and this is my new home and I'm loving it. I'm not so glued to my computer or my smart phone anymore these days.
I count my self lucky though because I only got four months of separation, some are not so lucky, I'm sure a few of you out there have spent years apart from your significant other since marriage.
Final advise, if you and you transatlantic significant other are planning to get married, be sure to have migration plans already sorted. You will need to make sure you have work permits ready and if possible a job waiting. Also have all your documents ready and money put aside to apply for the right visa. Don't get too carried away with the wedding planning, try and keep your wits about you.
